


The Tacco... Cousins?

by Calcu22



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Lup didn't die, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-14 06:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11777469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calcu22/pseuds/Calcu22
Summary: Everything is the same except Lup didn't die and get traped in her Umbra Staff. So, everything is different.





	1. Nat' 20 Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Warning about spelling and grammer, I didn't read over this besides the built in spell checker on my computer. 
> 
> I'm not sure how long this will be or how often I will be updating, but it was an idea that would not leave me and with the finale coming up I decided to post this online.

It took way too long to find it. Honestly, how hard is it to find a stupid gauntlet that sets everything on fire? It should have taken a day, maybe a week if Lup was really unlucky.

Not months.

It was getting to the point where Lup was thinking of heading back, but that would be Awkward ( _with a capital A_ ). Not to mention the Blaster was depressing as hell these days. Even her nerdy boyfriend and brother were being downers, and Merle was starting to freak her out with how much he was overcompensating. A break was needed.

Lup looked over as a tower of flames shot up, signaling the end of the battle. With a sigh, Lup grabbed her Umbra Staff and walked down the grassy hill that she was chilly on as soon as she saw the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet. The ring of black glass was already there, and not another sole in sight.

That was the problem the last time Lup tracked it down. Someone keep hiding during the fight, then would grab it before Lup could. She didn’t want to waste her body on trying to fight someone who was wearing the thing. Lup wasn’t even sure if she could without going ghost. It wasn’t worth it at the very least. It may have taken a mouth, but now she was the only one and Lup was going to make sure no one can use it.

Wave echo cave. When Lup heard about the cave, and more importantly the vault that the Rockseekers had, she knew that was where she would hide the gauntlet. It could still be admired, but no one would be able to get it. Only someone with rockseeker blood can open the vault, and Lup has a plan to work around that.

It took less time to track down one of the Rockseekers, and soon Lup found herself walking down the abandoned mines. The gauntlet was held in her hand and while at first she was careful to not let the Dwarf accompanying her see it, her thoughts wandered.

Lup wished there was another way. Lup wished that they could try Lucretia’s plan, but sealing off the plan would kill everyone. At least with the relents there was hope that not everyone will die. Though Lup was quickly running out of hope for a happy ending. This was the most Lup could do to lower the damage.

They turned to face a wide tunnel that was empty besides a large metal vault built into the stone. They walked up and Cyrus opened the vault. It was filled with gold and priceless gems, and Lup had no doubt that the vault is as secure as the Rockseekers claim it to be.

(In another plane, a Icosahedron dice is thrown and a cheer is heard.)

Lup was about to sigh in relief when she got a chill down her back and turned just in time to see Cyrus lunged at her with a dagger. Lup moved out of the way but not before Cyrus grabbed the gauntlet.

_Idiot! I forgot about the thrall!_

The dwarf put the gauntlet on just as Lup pointed her Umbra Staff and casted a Thunder Wave at him, sending Cyrus into the vault just as flames started climbing up his body. Lup slammed the door closed just as Cryus screamed and fire started filling the vault. With the door closed, only smoke remained.

Lup couldn’t even heard the screams as Cyrus was burned alive like all the others.

“Well, that could have gone better.” Lup commenced, noticing that her robe got sliced.

Lup made a face when she was the dagger that was covered in Silverpoint, meaning that her robe is going to get ruined because it’s made of out cotten.

“Man, that sucks. I guess I just have to check to see if there’s extra on the...” Lup mumbled before blinking a few times, what she was going to say on the tip of her tongue but...

_What was I going to say?_

Lup took her eyes off the dagger, wondering why she was in a cave. There was something...

Lup shock her head trying to clear the cobwebs in her head, but it just got worse. Why she was here and where she was going where blanks. She knew there was something, but even trying to think around it wasn’t helping. Lup knew there was somewhere she needed to go, someone she needed to go to, but she couldn’t remember.

Lup grabbed the handle of her Umbrella ( _Why do I have an Umbrella?_ ) tighter before running down the hall.

 


	2. No turning back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia should really get in the habit of testing things before using magical jellyfish to make your friends forget things.

Lucretia should have testing the voidfish before hand. She should have figured how just how the forgetting process works. It was obvious that the words writen wasn’t forgotten, but the meaning behind it. Otherwise there would be words missing from their language, but that’s also not always the case. With the songs that she remember, Lucretia wasn’t even able to mention the titles without the others telling her all they got was static. But there is meaning behind names.

 

When she first realized what she needed to do to keep her friend ( _ my family _ ) happy and safe, Lucretia thought that keeping their names out of the journals would be enough. She made sure to edit out any mentions she made about their past, their families (none of them had any meaningful family members when they left), anything that wasn’t related to IPRE. 

 

She thought she was being was so careful.

 

Lucretia was ready but then Lup disappeared, so she waited. If Lucretia thought the weight of the world on her friends was bad enough, it had nothing when one of them disappeared. Taako and Barry were always working, hardly sleeping or eating. Merle ignored it, normally pressing Davenport into a game or what not. Magnus offered to help every time Taako and Barry went planetside, but they just ignored him. Lucretia watched as her friend fell further and farther from themselves, and realized she couldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t just watch as they destroyed themselves when there was something she could do. Needed, to do.

 

It was the only chance they had to live a normal life.

 

But then she found Taako starting off the deck of the ship after dealing with Magnus. He didn’t know where Barry was, or who, which Lucretia was expecting. They didn’t meet until that first day of training, a year before they left after all and Lucretia included that in the journals she feed Fisher. What was like a bucket of cold water was when Lucretia asked about Lup. Lucretia was going to come up with a half-truth that his sister was missing, but Taako looked confused. Taako knew Lup long before IPRE, so Lucretia didn’t consider he would forget. 

 

That was when Lucretia realized she wasn’t careful enough. She must have referred them as twins too often, so that when Fisher eat her journal, what that word meant to Lucretia, to Lup and Taako, was forgotten. Lucretia erased their relationship. It only got worse from there. Seeing Davenport almost made Lucretia want to give up the plan, but she only had one shot with this. If they drank the Ichor there was no redo. Lucretia understood that much. 

 

After getting Magnus up with his internship, Taako with a stagecoach, and Merel with a clan of Beach Dwarves, Lucretia looked for Lup and Barry.

 

Barry was just gone. There was no trace of him which scared Lucretia. Lup and Barry couldn’t die so Lucretia didn’t have to worry about that. After they became Liches, Lucretia was grateful because it meant that she would never have to be the last one alive. But now she was worried. They could remember, can Liches aren’t the best to reason with, even if they are her friends.

 

The first thing Lucretia did was get a ward against the undead. 

 

Once she felt saver (how awful is it she needed protection from her friends?), Lucretia got her staff. Finding the other relics was harder, and Lucretia realized that she couldn’t do it by herself after what happened in Wonderland. Lucretia needed help, and that was when she meet the Millers. She allowed them to drink Fisher’s Ichor, and told them some things about the relics, planes, and things that she could afford for them to know. 

 

Lucretia almost gave up looking for Barry and Lup since she was so wrapped up in making the Bureau. Then there was mentioned of an adventurer. 

 

Lucretia thought about recruiting them, hearing word of about their great power in the Evocation arts. Then when Lucretia went planetside to see the Adventurer, she realized it was Lup. She have been traveling, from what the Innkeeper told Lucretia. Keeping her head down after getting in a few fights. ( _ “Not really her fault.” The Man said, way too happy talking about his patron then what was professional. “They were messing with some kid, then next thing I know their table was ash. I gave her a job in the kitchen to work off the coin, but there is a stigma around her name. Not a lot willing to take her in, even if she has the pay.” _ ) 

 

Lucretia kept asking around, wanting to know how her friend was, how she was unable to find her until now. Lup came to Waterdeep a year after Lucretia made everyone forget. No one knew where she was before that, though half the people Lucretia asked don’t even know her name. It seems like Lup minded her own business most days. Gone for a few months when hired by a group, but otherwise she was like a ghost. 

 

Lucretia didn’t know what to think. Taako and Lup were always so... present. Making almost a performance out of anything and everything. Seeing Lup so quiet was odd. Even when she read with Barry, Lup made noises and talked out loud. But then Lucretia can’t remember the last time she has seen Lup without Taako. Before Lup became a Liche, whenever they died, they died together. 

 

_ Maybe Lup acted like that because of Taako? _ Lucretia wondered, but it didn’t feel right.

 

Lucretia felt like there was a stone in her gut, but left Lup alone regardless. Lucretia already spent five years and still only have one relic. The sooner Lucretia finds them, the sooner everything will be fixed. 


	3. Crag’s list isn’t just for lonely adventurers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But it really is.

Lup was looking for a quick job in Neverwinter, not wanting to stay in the major city any longer then she needs to, when she came across Lonely Hearts Cantina. It was a small tavern that Lup has been to a few times looking for work and hasn’t been kicked out yet. The bartender, Friendly, currently lived up to his name.  

 

Walking in, Lup saw there was only six other patrons in the tavern. Three of them Lup recognized as a trio she worked with one. And only once.

 

Ignoring them and the Dwarf trying to talk to them, Lup saunter over to Friendly who just gave a large human carving a duck (using a knife shaped like a duck) a mug.

 

“Friendly my man, any new job op?” Lup said as she slid her Umbrella up to her forearm so she could lean on the bar.

 

“Doesn’t look like it. Even Crag seems to be having a hard time finding stuff for his list now-a-days.”

 

“Damn it!” Someone swore under their breath, and Lup turned to look...

 

“Did that guy just turn his table into meat?” Lup asked in disbelief.

 

“He’s been doing stuff like that even since I gave him his meal. At this point I would rather have your pyromatic ass then his. At least you apologize.” Friendly said, looking like he was debating going over to talk with the pointy hat wearing wizard or not.

 

“Well, I do have a good ass. Want me to have a word with the Wiz?”

 

“No, I don’t need you to cook the beef. Just, wait here. Don’t get into any arguments Lup, please?” Friday said, giving Lup a glass of mead as if that will satisfy her.

 

“I make no promises.” Lup told the man with a cheeky grin as he left.

 

Lup took a swig before looking around at the door that just opened.

 

“Finally.” Lup mumbled as the Gnome updated his list, but before Lup could take of the the tabs off the flyer, the blonde man ( _Shit what was his name?_ ) took the whole thing.

 

“It says this Gunther fellow is looking for four adventures, but I think we are good enough for this.”

 

“Ya, can you imagine the wage if it is split only three way?”

 

Lup took another sip, constipating if it was worth talking to them. On one hand Lup really needs work, on the other hand she doesn’t really like them. Way too high strung and they don’t know how to have a good time. Having a full group of lawful good is boring.

 

“...Hello gentlemen, you beautiful-” The duck man said only to get interrupted by the cleric.

 

“I’m a women.”

 

“Oh! My, hello.”

 

“That’s a little bit better.” Frans said still looking piss, but Lup doesn’t blame her.

 

Being misgendered sucks ass no matter the reason.

 

“Hello everyone. I am also interested in finding work I was wondering if I could peruse the paper or maybe join you?” The Human said, obviously trying his best to be polite.

 

“Sorry sir, but I think we got this one soundly handled even with one less person than recommended. We have been working together for a while now, and we no longer add strangers to our party.”

 

_He is totally talking shit about me._

 

“Yes, but how do you know i’m not a Quad?”

 

“Well, that... doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“I got a lot going on that you don’t know about.” The man said, as if that was any better.

 

_I could try to form a party from the other guys, the human seems funny and the Wizard could be useful, powerful even if it looks like he has no idea what he is doing. Then there’s the Dwarf who keeps leaving pathlets about Pan on the table...ya. I could definitely work with that._

 

“Hey He-man! Who did you say was the employer of that job?” Lup said as she turned around, her badass cape flowing behind her.

 

“Oh hey Lup.” Frans said with a friendly wave as her two teammate looked to her.

 

“Damn it!” The pointy hat wizard said again, but this time Lup didn’t look to see what he transmuted this time.

 

“Did that guy just turn his meat table into cola? Doesn’t matter, why do you want to know the name?” He-man said while Frans told her, “It’s Gurther.”

 

“I knew it. That son of a bitch owes me 15GP from my last mission with him!” Lup lied.

 

“Really?” He-man said, giving the flyer a second look.

 

“Definitely. The um... Rockseakers are a bunch of backstabbers and I’ve been looking for Gurther for a few years now.” Lup added, hoping that it would be enough to have the lawful good trio to give up.

 

“I don’t want a job where we might not get pay. We should just wait till tomorrow.” The Wizard of their group who always talked like he had marbles in his mouth because of his ‘big teeth’ said.

 

His name was handboner or something.

 

“That does sound like my cousin.” The Dwarf mumbled, and Lup froze for a moment.

 

_Did I really guess his last name correctly? And this Dwarf knows this Gunther fellow?_

 

“You know what, here take it big man. I’m sure you three could find another member. Good luck on getting justice served Miss. Lup.” He-Man said as the three of them left.

 

“Nice! Though, I really need money. I can help you intimidate the Dwarf for your money back, but I need a paying job.” The Burly human said and Lup laughed.

 

“Oh that? I was lying. Never met Gunther before. I’m Lup.”

 

“Great! I’m Magnus Burnsides.”

 

“I’m Merle Highchurch and do you know any teens?”

 

“Um, no?” Lup asked, giving the middle aged dwarf a hard look.

 

“Hey Wizard fellow! Do you want to join our party?”

 

“Oh me?” The Wizard said in a obviously fake high voice, though the accent seemed familiar to Lup for some reason.

 

“Ya you... wait... I know you! You’re Taako from that cooking show! What Da fuck you doing here?”

 

“T. A. A. K. O?” Merle said and Lup couldn’t tell if the Dwarf was being sarcastic or not.

 

“Yes, that’s me. I’m Taako, I’m disgraced. You might have heard about the nightshade thing-”

 

“We use to love your show in the tiny town I am from.” Magnus said look like an excited puppy.

 

“Ah, yes, where was it?”

 

“It was in Ravensroost.”

 

“Oh Ravensroost, oh yes it was a great town. The best audience in the world.” Taako said, obviously making it up on the spot.

 

“Yes I knew it! I’ve been saying that for years!”

 

“Yes, even I heard about how great the audience is in Ravensroost.” Lup said, her voice heavily laced with sarcasm.

 

“For sure, yes I’m good to an adventure thing with you dudes, but you need to feed me.”

 

“I’m a decent cook.” Lup said, though it just made Taako give her a judging look.

 

“Sounds like a deal!” Magnus said, even putting his hand in between them like this was a team meeting or something.

 

They each took one of the tabs, though Magnus keep the flyer.

 

“We should form a team.” Merle said about to put his hand in only for Magnus to remove it.

 

“No, Magnus works alone. This is just a one time thing.”

 

“I got a name, we could be ‘Taako’s boyz’”

 

“I’m a girl.” Lup said just in case any of these numbskulls didn’t catch that.

 

“Taako’s team?” Merle suggested.

 

“Team Taako?”

 

“Or we can not do that and just work on it tomorrow.” Lup said as she started to walk to the door.

 

It was getting late and they needed to meet up with the employer tomorrow morning.

 

“You drive a hard bargain. We can change it everyday.”

 

“Nope. No team names with one of the member’s names in it, calling it now.”

 

Outside, Lup looked at the Tab with the information on it.

 

“The last job I will ever need huh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still trying to figure out if I want this to be a rewrite or just a highlight/snapshot fic. I'll probably go snapshot for the relic arcs, but I'm not sure. As of right now I only have a few scenes in mind that is driving this story.
> 
> Thanks for reading and tell me your thoughts!

**Author's Note:**

> Question time: do you think Kravitz would be able to sense Barry and Lup are liches even if they are in their human bodies?


End file.
